Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Little Bean......

....... is still hanging in there as far as I can tell. I still vary from thinking everything is fine to expecting to miscarry at any moment. ONE MORE WEEK until I have my dr appointment and get to see the little one and hopefully a strong heartbeat.  Hubby has done more dishes in the last few weeks, than in the last few months. Sweet man, I am grateful for him.
I am soooo, soooo tired. In addition to waking up to go to the bathroom at least once a night, I am having trouble staying asleep for long periods of time (this happens to me occasionally, but usually only a few nights at a time; this has been pretty consistent for the last couple of weeks), and am having weird dreams every night! I am one who maybe remembers 6 dreams a year, so every night is a bit much for me. And they are all a little scary and bizarre, in one I had a miscarriage (don't remember the details, but it was odd somehow), in another my 3 year old son died (he went up the elevator with my grandpa who passed away 5 years ago), last night my high school boyfriend and his wife came and kidnapped a baby that I was watching. So, I wake up at 6 in the morning puzzling or worrying over the weirdness my brain has just thrust upon me. All the while trying to convince myself to go back to sleep so that I can not be so TIRED. Ok, rant over. Still I am grateful, amazed, and slightly teary at all times.

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